five

it's sunday.
i wish i dont have to sleep. night.

four

today was half day, cig/smi anniversary.
amazing race and esplanade was actually quite fun.
we planned to slack, but went off as normal and ended as 8th out of 34.
not too bad i guess.
played lan for an hour with the clerks and then i went to COMEX at suntec convention.

almost bought a cheap deal laptop which is too cheap for it's specs.
was searching for the damn iPad but all 3 distributors of Apple didn't sell them there.
i really wonder why. ahhhhh. maybe shall get it tmr. hehe.
actually enjoyed my time being alone walking around and doing what i want.

maybe that's what i want.
i miss you, please come back quickly.

three

i'm damn worn out.
guessed i'm not used to waking up so early yet.
reckon i need a week to adjust at least.
and to add on to that, now's not even counted as a normal day.
damn.

i want to sleep early, but somehow i don't want to at the same time.
you know that feeling.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i promise to sleep earlier tonight,
because i really can't take it any more.

two

politics
sometimes i still feel empty, but it's not my fault.
it comes naturally, we all have emotions, just how sensitive they are.
you, me, they, we all feel empty sometimes.
yes i'm defending myself to make me feel normal.

today's quite okay, i shifted my stuffs out of my old bunk,
tried my best to avoid those curious faces whom i saw almost every single day.
they didn't know and and would not know me and i don't care.
i'm not saying i like my new place, but hey, took me alot to get here.
swam, sun-burnt.
tired, but don't want to sleep.
fades

which side should i stand on? or should i be a double agent?
will i really? no one knows.
pray, i was advised.
try, was my reply.
but, really, i don't know, maybe i'm trying to run away.
we all run right? and we all hide.

but, how long can we stay under covers?

one

uncertainties and uncertainties.
i whine like a kid.
i hope i adjust well and grow to acceptance.

and a week without you, what a timely arrival.
i'm really trying, maybe not at my best, but i'm still on it.
give me time, even i doubt myself.